How often do you tell yourself you want to do something but don’t follow through? I want to start exercising. I want to take that class. I want to learn that language. I want to try that diet. But you never follow through. You may even wake up in the morning & say, today is the day, but as the day goes on, you carry on the way you normally do & fall into the same patterns. Why is this?
Ego. This is what separates our sophisticated selves from the rest of the animal kingdom. The ego. Your ego is afraid of change, good or bad. This is why you may find yourself self-sabotaging your own efforts for self-improvement. It’s a complex process. The self-help industry is booming right now as we all desire to be the best versions of ourselves. But, reading all the self-help books, watching all the videos & listening to all the lectures in the world cannot save you. You can know everything there is to know about improving yourself, but still remain stuck in your ways.
You must first stop identifying with your current self. If you are depressed, stop saying you’re depressed. If you wish you lose weight, stop calling yourself fat.
If you want to build muscle, stop calling yourself skinny. If you want to educate yourself, stop calling yourself stupid! This all sounds so cut & dry, but it goes deeper. You see, we say & think these things almost automatically because they’re embedded into our subconscious & are ultimately a part of our identity. So, these poisonous thoughts tend to fly under the radar. This self-destructive, negative thinking holds you back from taking action on the things that you want to pursue.
Belief. Ultimately, your ego tricks you. You consciously say, “I want abs!”. But, 8 weeks pass & you wake up, still gazing down at your belly in disgust, leading to depression & self-hate. This is very serious. It’s a terrible cycle that ruins lives. This is the root of evil, in my opinion. If you don’t love yourself to begin with, you are acting out of fear & hate, rather than courage & love. So, you say you want abs, for example, but your ego says, “No you don’t, you’re a fat, depressed loser. Lets keep it that way”. Why would the ego do this? Clearly you want to change!
Your ego knows you better than you do. It functions off of your subconscious thoughts & desires. So, you may consciously say you want abs, but if you don’t feel like you deserve or can achieve your goal, your ego won’t believe you. Thats trippy, isn’t it? You won’t believe yourself.
What I’m trying to say is, it all starts with belief. If you’re a pessimistic, self-hating person, it’s going to be extremely hard to get yourself going on any of your goals. Regardless of how shitty your situation is, you have to believe that you are capable. You really gotta carve this into your mind. Visualize yourself achieving these goals. Embody the feeling of these goals coming true, as if they already happened. You already have abs, I don’t care how fat you are. You’re already smart, I don’t care how stupid you think you are. You’re already wealthy, regardless of how poor you are. It’s hard to think like this & almost induces a cringe. But, I assure you, this is real shit. This is human psychology. This is how we tick. Choose to ignore it & end up like your average Joe, working a job he hates, complaining about his wife & popping pills for blood pressure.
One last thing… Sometimes we may be unaware of our negative thought patterns. But if you find yourself in this cycle of setting goals, falling short & feeling shitty, you should take a closer look. Pay attention to your thoughts. How do you talk to yourself? Why do you talk to yourself that way? Do you jokingly tell other people your fat, stupid, lazy, or whatever? Chances are, you do. Chances are, you think poorly about yourself & it most likely isn’t your fault. Maybe, growing up, somebody used to talk to you like this, engraining it into your young, developing mind. Expel that bullshit. Bring awareness to yourself & listen to your thoughts. Whenever you find that you’re hating on yourself, catch it & just laugh it off. It’s just a bad habit. Just like everything else. We are creatures of habit, so choose good ones, especially positive thinking.